Is this satire?
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Is this satire?

Thirasant Mann is a sub-editor at the Bangkok Post. His latest op-ed is entitled: ‘A plague of legal scholars seeking to subvert ethics‘. The opening:

Nitirat is not pronounced “nitty rat” and does not mean “a rat with nits (baby lice)”. The word, derived from Pali and Sanskrit, translates as “ethics of the citizenry” and in today’s parlance means political science. In Thai, it is written one way (Nitirasadorn) and pronounced another (Nitiraad), giving one the impression that what you see isn’t quite what you get. Which makes it an apt name for the group of lecturers whose recent lallations about the lese majeste law have caused alarm in certain quarters and made people wonder what’s brewing in the political pot. So let us tackle Nitirat head-on, questioning it as we would an individual whose motives are suspect.

Khun Nitirat, your professed aim is to foster peace and prosperity in this country, protect the highest institution from the slings and arrows of plebeian politics and strengthen democracy – your brand, no doubt, of Western corporate-controlled democracy, with which you became so enamoured whilst pursuing a doctorate in Germany that was funded by a royal scholarship.

Then, a choice quote in the middle:

So, would we be that far off the mark in saying that Nitirat’s actions seek to exonerate and empower Thaksin, whose clique of greedy global gobblers are salivating at the gates waiting to unleash their New World Disorder on us?

Then the ending:

In conclusion, Nitirat should give up trying to change the past even if it were as recent as yesterday. “Not heaven itself upon the past has power” (Dryden), and neither should Nitirat try to make manifest in the present that which is best left to the future. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and let the monarchy see to its own reforming. That would be the right course of action for a law-abiding citizen schooled in ethics.

BP: BP has read a few of Mr. Mann’s op-eds over the years and well to be honest, BP assumed it was satire. A kind of  Thai Stephen Colbert, but well to be honest, BP never found the op-eds that amusing. Each to their own taste. Hence, BP hasn’t read the op-eds regularly. One op-ed that BP does remember reading was an op-ed about a certain plane that had some troubles in Germany. The op-ed was entitled ‘Damn their euros, save our pride‘:

Above all else, this uber ugly, crass beyond crudity, highly indecent and morally reprehensible action by the deutsche government in striking at an institution which they fully know we highly revere, has sown the germ of animus which will reap them the whirlwind in future relations.

It is further demonstration of how inhumane, unfeeling and unbending that government really is; their minds are like automatons _ as the Oracle at Delphi will tell any who ask.

From now on, “deutsche” will become synonymous with “dirt” in this part of the world. The wicked witch of the West with the angelic name shall get her comeuppance: the locals here are already on their way to burn chillies at Wat Phra Kaew to waft curses her way. Gottedammerung! The collapse of her coalition is surely on the horizon.

Indeed, instead of discussing the legal merits of the case, our government should have taken immediate steps to retrieve the plane. Prestige can never equate with lucre, no matter how much the filthy amount.

There can be no other course of action in a matter so delicate as this. If the shameless deutsche government thinks they can shame us like this, let them have their euros and there’ll soon be a reckoning. Their constituents will start flooding them with complaints about how their action has harmed their businesses in this country _ when Thais refuse to drink German beer or fly Lufthansa.

It’s a shame, really, that decent German people will have to bear the brunt because of the uncouth actions of their government.

BP: But googling and re-reading some older op-eds, BP is no longer sure. It really mirrors some columns BP has read in the Thai language press. It is satire, right?