“You shouldn’t be embarrassed to (identify yourself as being from a top school). Why should you be embarrassed?”

 - Deputy Prime Minister Teo Chee Hean

Whenever I meet somebody new, I dread the expected question that is silently waiting about the bend, just waiting for the right moment, or excuse, to surface…

“Which school are you from?”

It is an uncomfortable question that prickles, for I know that a quick judgment follows my answer.

“Hwachong”.

A short utterance that creates and shapes perceptions beyond my control; a single word that allows for any prejudice or stereotype to be projected onto it; I have ceased to be me, but instead, an infinite receptacle of bias and expectations.   

“Wah so smart arh”.

And an awkward silence on my part follows. What am I supposed to say? Yes, I am very smart. Thank you so very much. To do that will be suicide. There is no recourse except for the route of self-deprecation. I launch into a crisis control mode.

“No lar, I got into Hwachong through PSLE. An examination that you take at 12 doesn’t mean much.”

It is tiring. I say this every time. Why do I bother? Because I am painfully aware that others formulate their first impression about me based on the brand of my school – that all-important first impression which has been repeatedly emphasized and venerated by pop-psychology.

I do not wish to have any associations of snobbish elitism attached to me, a common perception that people have of elite* students. How untrue though. It is possible to do well in your examinations without being arrogant. It is possible to score a hundred for a test without being a hundred percent snob. It is possible to be an elite without being an elitist.

Most of our leaders have, sadly, not been able to demonstrate this distinction to the Singaporean public. Our society looks at the newspapers, at the public faces, at a policy style that dictates rather than persuades, at the wildly incredulous quotes that illustrate a wide gap in understanding, compassion and empathy with the common man and concludes – there is no mistaking it – elites are elitist. 

This is why I dread the question that inexorably leads to the answer I have to give. Because I know in that moment, the shadows of elitism has eclipsed me and I will be judged through new lenses that gives ugly shades and tones that color every one of my next words. I have become a canvas for others to project their worst impressions onto.

No sir. I am not embarrassed to say that I am from Hwachong. In fact I am fiercely proud of the school that had molded me for the past six years. I am not embarrassed. Rather, I am maddened.

To be in a society where declaring my heritage can lead to persecution, where some have lived their lives to evidence a connection between ability and arrogance, where an insular elite imbibed in their esoteric culture of elitism exists… Maddening.   

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*For the record, “elite” is used in this context as a student who has the remarkably limited success in securing an alphabet soup of As that serves as dubious proof of his abilities but which is eagerly yapped up by wider society as a testament to his omnipotence in life… Our society is really laughable in many ways.